Funny Bird Jokes

31st January 2012

How do you stop a cock crowing on Sunday morning?
Have him for dinner on Saturday night!

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?

What did the little bird say to the big bird?
Peck on someone your own size!

Which bird does construction work?
The crane!

What kind of weather excites a pet duck?
Fowl weather, of course!

How can you tell a miser from his pet canary?
One's a little cheap, but the other's a little cheeper.

Did you hear the story about the peacock?
It's a beautiful tail!

What bird is with you at every meal?
A swallow!

What do you call a rooster that crows every morning?
An alarm cluck!

What do you call a sick eagle?

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie!

What birds spend all their time on their knees ?
Birds of prey !

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?
A headbanger !

When is the best time to buy budgies ?
When they're going cheap !

How do you get a cut-price parrot ?
Plant bird seed !

Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ?
Because they're both full of stuffing !

What do you call a very rude bird ?
A mockingbird !

Where do birds meet for coffee ?
In a nest-cafe !

How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ?
With it's sparrowchute !

What is green and pecks on trees ?
Woody Wood Pickle !

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ?
Fowl play !